You Are Not Your Thoughts!
Posted on 19th April 2024 at 21:50
It’s true that, at times, we wouldn’t talk to anyone else the way we talk to ourselves. Criticising and berating ourselves for the slightest of reasons, oblivious to the fact that each time we engage in negative self talk we generate negative feelings and emotions which, over time, can have a powerful influence over the way we think, the way we feel and the way we act in our daily lives.
Self worth and self esteem are invaluable assets to our emotional wellbeing as both determine not only how we interact with ourselves but how we interact with others too.
The subconscious mind is like a sponge that soaks up all our experiences that are stored and readily available for calling upon at any time, whether they are positive and helpful or negative, unhelpful comments, criticisms and/or influential language received from the important people in our lives, ie., our parents, caregivers, teachers, peer groups etc.
Sometimes a certain negative memory or experience will play on repeat like a stuck record every time we make a mistake, typically “you idiot”, “you can’t do anything right”, “you’re useless”, over time these messages become auto response behaviours that can be triggered in certain situations or environments, reinforcing the language of limiting beliefs and reminding us that ‘I’m not good enough, ‘I can’t do it’ that can keep us stuck in the ‘comfort zone’.
Disempowering thoughts can create feelings of despondency, despair, frustration, and sadness and, if left unchecked, can lead to chronic anxiety, stress and fear, having a significant impact on how we perceive ourselves, our relationships and can limit our potential to explore and enjoy a fulfilling life.
If you can relate to some or all of the above, try the following exercise:
On a notepad, write down the negative messages/thoughts coming from your subconscious mind. Those that have the potential to sabotage your ability to make better choices, enjoy healthy relationships or support your strengths and skills.
Then, imagine taking a deeper look through a magnifying glass to examine these messages/thoughts for their authenticity or relevance in your life now and, if you can recall where they originated, e.g., a parent, teacher etc, acknowledge that although this might have been ‘their truth’ it doesn't have to be yours, neither does it make it factual.
We all make mistakes, there's no such thing as perfection. So, using positive self talk, overwrite any negative messages with, e.g. “I am willing to let go of past mistakes” “when a negative thought comes in to my mind, I will replace it with positive thoughts and images”.
Regular engagement with this exercise will dial down the negative inner chatter and dial up the optimism and hope that positive self-talk elicits.
Tagged as: Self-Esteem, Self-Worth
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